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Terrible pick up lines

2013-08-22 09:49:43 
  • Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be.
  • I'm the biggest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson.
  • " Ish heav'n mishing a angel? Cuz... cuz... is heav'n mishn a... mishn a angel... yeah cuz... fuck it. C'mere suck my dick." <vomits>
  • "I've been watching you across the bar for quite a while now...eh, sorry that came out all wrong...I've watched you across the bar and...eh, let me try again...I find you very attractiv...eh, I don't know how to put this politely, but what I am trying to say is would you like to have sex?"
  • "Do you have a gag reflex?"
  • Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!
  • I wrote the dictionary on my cock last night if you come to my house ill put some words in your mouth!
  • Just keep it up, baby. Yeah, you're getting there.
  • I'm like a Rubik's Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
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  • I want to bone you.
  • Damn, you look good in beer goggles...
  • Gee, this is one warm massage table. Oh, wait, it's you.
  • I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?
  • If you were a woman, I'd so have sex with you.
  • It's called "The Forbidden Kingdom" for a reason.
  • Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?
  • Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard? (polish accent)
  • "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily)
  • Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits
  • Hi, I'm part Native American, would you like to ride my totem pole?
  • My magical watch says you don't know who I am...
  • You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
  • I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter... CHUNKY!
  • "They call me Long John Silver! Want to know why?" Her: Is it because you don't wash?"
  • "Your hair smells really nice...wanna kiss?"
  • Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  • Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
  • Hi. You'll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE!!!
  • I've got a knife - get your coat
  • Hi. I'm insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called?
  • Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"
  • I've got my beady eye set on you"
  • Wanna have sex?
  • Would you find it quite spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?
  • "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A smart girl would run, a blond would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?"
  • "Hey baby, want some nookie?" (don't forget to wink and look sleazy to make this appear just awful)


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